Saturday, June 1, 2013


A lot of the discourse about how men should behave revolves around the Alpha/Beta dichotomy, pushed by so called "pick up artists" (PUAs) and men's rights types.  While I agree with the basic concepts, I think the implementation and applied theory gets kind of fucked up in practice.  Feminism a broken, unnatural concept? I agree.  Men (specifically white men) under systematic cultural attack by the media and academia? Oh yeah.  That being a man means slinging your cock everywhere? Not so much.

The last sentence there is of particular importance because of its association with the entire 'free love' of the 60s.  Nothing is free, "except for the grace of G-d", as the narrator of True Grit reminds us.  The psychological and physiological effects of rampant hypergamy aren't limited to females, even though PUAs will go on and on about how female hypergamy is extremely problematic (which it is). However as Christ reminds us to 'remove the beam from thy own eye', we should examine what effects it has on us as men.

The thing that grinds is how PUAs adopt a superior attitude about how smart they are for refusing to get tied up with one woman.  They claim often this is part of their 'alpha' credentials because they're swaggering cocks who can't be tied down while beta providers allow themselves to be sucked in by a woman.  This is the equivalent of someone who only works a punching bag claiming that he's an awesome boxer because he never gets hit versus those boxers who actually spar with other people.

While there's a time to discover yourself, and relationships are part of that discovery for a man, the idea that continuing to repeat the behavior of your 20s into your 30s and 40s and so on is unhealthy and leads to stunted growth as a man and a human being.  Part of growth is making mistakes and learning from them; as I quoted before "the burned hand teaches best'.  Refusing to put yourself in a situation to learn is cowardly, and no amount of smokescreening and self rationalization can change that.

However, there is definitely a set of actions that is manly demonstrates arete, and those that do not.  Perhaps its necessary for the PUAs and the like to expand beyond thinking the amount of yoga instructors you bang makes you a man, and instead look at how men throughout the ages have protected, provided, and created.


  1. I've always seen PUAs as immature, selfish and less than men for the reasons you note. So agreed.

    There's something else about them that bothers me and speaks, IMO, to low character - maybe even a touch of sociopathy. It's the need to *con* their way into bed with women. PUAs are always bragging (another behavior I don't like) about how talented they are at getting what they want from women. They describe, usually with pride, all of the neurolinguistic games they play to fool the "silly" female brain.

    Now,I have no problem with the concept of a man who doesn't want to be tied down by a woman for whatever reason, yet still wants to enjoy a woman's company. But why the need to con? To "get over"?

    Why not just present as what you are; which should be an intelligent, mature (for age), educated, articulate, athletically fit gentleman? That's my idea of an "alpha" and that alone will attract female attention and arouse their interest to the point where they will want to make love.

    It is perfectly possible to have honest open mutually enjoyable and mutually respectful relationships with women without all of the deceit employed by PUAs. BTW, who wants to sleep with someone that you don't respect, which seems to be what the PUAs are doing.

    1. I think a lot it is related to how certain mentalities will take activities to the extreme. I see the same thing with the paleo/crossfit types and how it becomes more than a lifestyle but a fucking religion to them. To the point where people say with a straight face 'I don't wear shoes anymore because paleo'. Sometimes they will insert a crazy bullshit reason about hormones or enzymes but the fact remains that they're so obsessive about paleo they don't see how retarded it looks.

      Crossfit has the same issues with people losing their damn minds about jump squats or whatever, and while it is extremely effective I have to question the extremes some people take it to. Too often it seems to dominate the personality. PUA and all that bullshit is the same way, with the 'tricks' that allowed them to manipulate women making it nigh impossible for them to form an attachment with someone who isn't vain/selfish/stupid (i.e. a good woman).

      Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of issues with many women out there (YOLO, for instance), but getting into weird psych games and 'soft negs' ain't the answer.